Parenting Childhood Anxiety - 7 Tips
Please note: our blog posts are solely informational and are not meant to replace individualized therapeutic advice or healthcare.
It’s crushing, that first hint of worry or anxiety in your child. You’ve likely done everything you can to reduce their stressful and negative experiences and yet they’re still scared to go to parties, don’t want to socialize, worry about schoolwork, and more.
First of all, childhood anxiety is a rather common phenomenon, especially now, so your kid isn’t alone. We won’t get into the WHYs of this issue but rather let’s discuss some of the tangible strategies for supporting your child through their most difficult internal struggles.
Supporting a young child with anxiety requires a thoughtful and understanding approach.
Create a nurturing and supportive environment
Foster an environment that is warm, loving, and safe. Encourage open communication and make sure your child knows they can always come to you for support.
This can be done in two steps;
Practice active listening when your child expresses their fears or worries. Give them your full attention, show empathy, and avoid dismissing or minimizing their concerns.
Validate their feelings, even if you don’t understand the feeling or agree that they should feel as extremely as they do about something. It's important to acknowledge and validate your child's anxiety. Let them know that it's normal to feel anxious sometimes and that you understand their feelings.
Educate yourself about anxiety
Learn about anxiety disorders and their impact on children. This knowledge will help you better understand your child's experiences and respond appropriately. Oftentimes we find that anxiety runs in families. It doesn’t necessarily present itself the same way or in the same intensity, but there are common patterns of thinking or viewing the world that can be seen across generations. If you educate yourself about anxiety, it might just change how you speak to yourself, how you view the world and that will definitely have an impact on your child’s internal experience.
Teach relaxation techniques
Help your child develop relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness exercises. Encourage them to practice these techniques when they feel anxious. There are countless books and apps that are specifically geared towards children making them more age-appropriate.
These skills are essential for when the anxiety flares up, giving your child power to control their reactions and help themselves when they feel most alone and scared.
4. Establish routines
Create a predictable routine for your child. Consistency and structure can help reduce anxiety by providing a sense of stability and security. Give as much warning as possible when changing their routine and whenever plausible allow the child to make decision about their routine. Something as simple as deciding the sequence of their morning routine can help build confidence and often feels quite empowering.
Healthy eating, exercise, good sleeping habits and social contact are all part of building healthy habits and integrating them into your routine.
5. Model healthy coping strategies
Children often learn by observing their parents' behaviour. Demonstrate healthy coping strategies for managing stress and anxiety in your own life. Even talking yourself through a stressful episode aloud can be powerful (though admittedly can feel awkward) because they will hear the language you use and learn to internalize it themselves.
If they hear you say “It’s alright. I can handle this. Just take a deep breath. I can face this issue and will be fine at the end.” You can be confident that they will have really supportive language to use for themselves when faced with stressful challenges.
This will show them that anxiety can be effectively managed.
6. Gradual exposure to fears
Ok, this one won’t necessarily be easy but if they don’t face their fears and learn to conquer them, then there is no evidence that their anxious worry is wrong… and so often it’s VERY wrong. If your child is scared of going to the birthday party, the easy solution would be to not go, but is that sustainable and healthy for the long term? Does avoiding all situations that bring up fear make sense for the rest of their lives? Not likely.
If your child has specific fears or phobias, consider a gradual exposure approach. Start with small, manageable steps to help them face their fears in a controlled and supportive manner. This can be a doozy to manage on your own, so if you’re unsure then please seek support in this endeavour because you want to make sure that it’s done well and that you don’t risk exacerbating the fear in the process. This is especially likely if you go too fast or too big…which is common.
7. Seek professional help if needed
If your child's anxiety significantly interferes with their daily life or persists over a long period, consider consulting a mental health professional who specializes in working with children. They can provide appropriate guidance, therapy, or other interventions. You can also seek help from a therapist and work with them individually as you navigate parenting childhood anxiety.
Remember, each child is unique, so it's important to adapt these strategies to your child's individual needs. Patience, understanding, and consistent support are key in helping a child overcome anxiety.
Read more about Anxiety Therapy.
