The Stages of Grief for Pet Loss

Losing a beloved pet can be an incredibly painful experience. Just like losing a human loved one, it's natural to go through a range of emotions as you grieve the loss of your furry friend.

While we wish we could make every painful experience go away, understanding these stages of grief in pet loss can help you navigate the grieving process and find ways to cope with your feelings.

What is Grief?

Grief is the emotional response we feel when we lose someone or something important to us. It's a natural and universal experience that everyone goes through at some point in their lives. When we lose a pet, the stages of grief in pet loss can be just as intense as losing a human loved one. Pets are family members, and their loss can leave a significant void in our lives.

The stages of grief in pet loss involve many of the same emotions as grieving a person. You might feel overwhelming sadness, physical fatigue, and difficulty concentrating on everyday tasks. These feelings are normal and part of the grieving process. Grief can affect us emotionally, physically, and psychologically, making it important to acknowledge and process these feelings.

One helpful way to understand grief is through the stages of grief model. This model was originally developed by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross to describe the emotions people go through when facing the loss of a loved one.

The Stages of Grief for Pet Loss

1. Denial

Denial is the first of the stages of grief after pet loss, where you may find it hard to accept the reality of your pet's absence. You might catch yourself expecting them to come bounding through the door or hear their familiar meows or barks around the house.

It's common to want to hold on to the hope that they'll somehow return, or to pretend that they're still alive and well. However, staying in the denial process for too long can delay the healing process.

To cope with denial, allow yourself to acknowledge the reality of your pet's death, even if it's painful. You may want to surround yourself with reminders of your pet, such as photos or toys to remember them by. Consider also seeking out professional support through depression therapy, or a therapy to get to the root of your emotions.

2. Anger

Anger is a natural reaction to loss, and it can manifest in various ways when going through the stages of grief in pet loss.

You might feel angry at yourself for not being able to prevent their death, at others for not understanding your pain, or even at your pet for leaving you.

3. Bargaining

In the stage of bargaining, you might find yourself trying to make deals or negotiate with a higher power to reverse the loss of your pet. You could plead for just a few more moments with them or promise to be a better pet owner if only they could come back to you.

Bargaining is a way of trying to regain control when you feel powerless, but it's important to remember that some things are beyond our control.

Recognize that bargaining is normal in the grief stages of pet loss, but also acknowledge its limitations. We encourage you to express your wishes and desires and seek solace in the memories you shared with your pet.

4. Depression

Depression is a deep and profound sadness that can come with the stages of grief for pet loss. You might feel overwhelmed by emptiness, loneliness, and despair as you come to terms with their absence.

Depression can make it hard to engage in daily activities or find joy in things you once enjoyed. Typically, when dealing with loss, these feelings are temporary and part of the healing process. 

Reaching out to friends, family, or a therapist who specializes in depression therapy or trauma therapy for support and companionship could be a helpful way to cope during this difficult time. We always like to suggest self-care activities that nourish your body and soul, like spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness, or indulging in hobbies that bring you comfort.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance is the final stage in the stages of pet loss grief, where you start to come to terms with the reality of your pet's loss and integrate it into your life.

It doesn't mean you forget about your pet or stop missing them, but rather that you find a way to move forward while holding onto the love and memories you shared. Acceptance is a gradual process, and it may take time to reach this stage, but it's an important step toward healing and finding peace. 

You might want to find ways to honour their memory, such as creating a memorial or participating in activities that remind you of them.

Coping Strategies for Dealing with Pet Loss

Create a Ritual or Memorial

When a pet passes away, creating a meaningful ritual or memorial can be a powerful way to honour their memory.

This could be as simple as planting a tree in your backyard, putting together a scrapbook filled with photos and memories, or holding a small ceremony with family and friends. This act of remembrance helps celebrate the life of your pet and the joy they brought into your life.

It’s also nice to involve others in the memorial process. Invite family members or friends who knew your pet to share their own memories. This can be a comforting way to feel connected and supported during this tough time.

Make sure the ritual or memorial reflects the unique bond you had with your pet. If they loved the beach, maybe you could gather near the sea to share stories or toss flowers into the water.

These personal touches can make the memorial even more meaningful and help bring closure and a sense of peace.

Find a Support Group

Grieving the loss of a pet can feel very lonely, but you don’t have to go through it alone!

Joining a pet loss support group can connect you with others who understand exactly what you’re going through. These groups offer a space to share your feelings and find comfort in the experiences of others.

To find a support group, you can check with local veterinarians, pet hospitals, or look online for forums and social media groups dedicated to pet loss. Some organizations even offer pet loss hotlines you can call when you need someone to talk to.

Sharing your story and hearing others can be incredibly healing. It reminds you that your feelings are valid and that you’re not alone in your sadness. 

Maintain Routine and Structure

When a pet dies, it can feel like your daily life is in disarray. That’s why it’s important to maintain routine and structure. Try to stick to regular schedules for meals, exercise, and other daily activities.

Keeping up with familiar routines can anchor you, providing a sense of stability when everything else feels uncertain. It’s okay if you’re not always up to it, but having a basic structure can help you manage your grief more effectively and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.

Practice Self-Care with Access Therapy

Sometimes, the grief of losing a pet can be too much to handle alone, and that’s okay. Book a free consultation with a therapist or counsellor from Access Therapy to begin your healing journey today.