Is my anxiety normal?
Please note: our blog posts are solely informational and are not meant to replace individualized therapeutic advice or healthcare.
Yes, anxiety is normal.
Lots of people experience anxiety in their lives, sometimes frequently other times situationally. Anxiety is a feeling of unease or nervousness about some imminent event or something that we cannot know the outcome of. This definition actually resembles stress more than anxiety because it is associated with some external factor. You can probably think of dozens of life stressors that trigger these feelings like taking a test, moving, making career changes, loss of a loved one, and more.
The more psychiatric definition of anxiety centres on excessive apprehensiveness about some real or perceived danger or threat. This is usually more than a situation might call for and is associated with avoidance behaviours as a way of coping with these intense feelings of dread, impending doom or helplessness. This level of anxiety is more disruptive and gets in the way of enjoyment or feeling in control of our lives. Anxiety is often internally triggered based on some past experience.
Both stress and anxiety can have helpful roots in that they signal to our minds and bodies that there is something frightening or unknown about this situation.
When there is a clear cause then there can be some clear action to alleviate the issue. Preparing for a test, getting help for a big move, or getting grief counselling as examples. But when the trigger is internal, not clearly associated with something tangible or a clear way of alleviating the distress, we often avoid those triggers.
Let’s use social anxiety as an example. Simply put, it’s a fear of rejection without outside information that you might be rejected - it’s coming internally from a part of you that’s developed to warn you about the potential for rejection. Maybe this is rooted in some childhood experience of bullying or being ostracized, or from disproportionate sibling attention in your family, or so many other factors.
The potential to live through those awful feelings again can result in us doing what we can to avoid them. With social anxiety this tends to look like withdrawing or isolating ourselves socially, being hypercritical of our words and actions in front of others, not speaking in groups in general, taking jobs that require little to no social interaction, etc. That fear feels so real and it makes sense to do what you can to avoid it, but it also means avoiding so many potentially great things in life. That little voice that spirals into ‘what ifs’ and goes down dark rabbit holes wants to protect you, and likely it did protect you at some point in your life. But now, without the external evidence that it is necessary, it’s potentially causing more harm.
If your anxiety feels out of your control, like it’s the driver of your car instead of an observant backseat passenger, then it might be a good time to consider shifting that relationship.
It can feel impossible to have a different relationship with that part of yourself because it has likely controlled your thoughts, feelings, actions, choices and surroundings for so long. And frankly, the goal is not to be anxiety-free, it’s just to take small steps to be more in control. To question the things that voice says, to listen when it feels right and to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ when it feels unreasonable.
The benefits could include decreased feelings of dread and helplessness, better sleep, less physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweaty palms, blushing, nausea and less worry. But only you can know if the time is right, and if you feel ready to put in some work to shift that story, release some burden and gain some self-confidence.
If you are considering anxiety therapy you can contact us with questions or book a FREE consultation. We’ll get to know you and your needs in therapy and then pair you with the right therapist on our team.
Read more about anxiety therapy.
