How to Make Friends When You Have Social Anxiety

Please note: our blog posts are solely informational and are not meant to replace individualized therapeutic advice or healthcare.

If you feel your heart race, palms sweat, and mind flood with negative thoughts just at the idea of interacting with others, you might be dealing with social anxiety.

In fact, these symptoms are a reality for many individuals grappling with social anxiety. It's not just a matter of being shy or introverted, but a pervasive and often debilitating fear that can affect various aspects of life, from relationships to work.

But before we explore how to make friends when you have social anxiety, you might first want to understand it just a little bit more.

Understanding Social Anxiety

​​Social anxiety isn't just about feeling a little nervous before a big presentation or meeting new people at a party.

It's a complex mental health condition that can significantly impact your daily life. At its core, social anxiety involves an intense fear of judgment or embarrassment in social situations.

This fear often leads to avoidance behaviours, such as skipping social events or staying silent in conversations, to prevent perceived humiliation.

And unlike certain traumas, where patients and therapists can point to a specific event that initiated the first episode, there is no one root cause of social anxiety for everyone.

Is Social Anxiety a Disability?

The answer isn't a simple yes or no.

Disability is a multifaceted concept that encompasses various physical, cognitive, and mental health conditions. Legally and socially, a disability is defined by its impact on an individual's ability to function in daily life.

For many people with social anxiety, the challenges they face can indeed meet the criteria for disability. The fear of social interactions can interfere with educational opportunities, employment prospects, and personal relationships.

Yet, there's often a stigma attached to labelling social anxiety as a disability, with some dismissing it as mere shyness or lack of confidence. This can make it more difficult for them to get the help they need sooner, especially if it means needing accommodations in school or at work.

Social Anxiety Caused By Parents

​​Parents play a significant role in shaping our early experiences and perceptions of the world, including how we navigate social interactions.

While it's natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm, certain parenting styles or behaviours can inadvertently contribute to the development of social anxiety.

Think about if you ever grew up in an environment where every misstep or mistake was met with criticism or overprotection. These experiences can instill deep-seated beliefs of inadequacy or fear of judgment, laying the groundwork for social anxiety to take root.

Years later, these grown children might now be struggling with social anxiety and may find it challenging to assert their needs or boundaries, especially with their parents.

Ultimately, it's not about blaming our parents but taking the steps we need to get support for our social anxiety so we can live a better life.

How to Make Friends When You Have Social Anxiety

We understand that these suggestions are easier said than done, especially with someone dealing with social anxiety. Talking to a professional is a great way to start addressing your social anxiety head-on, but if you want to start walking outside of your comfort zone, consider exploring the following:

Find Interest Groups

Finding common ground with others can provide a much-needed sense of comfort and belonging. These structured environments offer a safe space to connect with like-minded peers who share your enthusiasm.

Whether you're into photography, knitting, or board games, there's likely a community out there waiting to welcome you with open arms.

If you're not sure where to start, don't worry. You can find local or online communities centred around specific interests through social media, meetup platforms, or community bulletin boards. Take your time exploring different groups until you find one that resonates with you.

As you dip your toes into the world of interest groups, remember to be patient with yourself. It's okay to start small and gradually increase your participation as you feel more comfortable.

Work on Confidence

​​Social anxiety often goes hand in hand with low self-esteem, making it challenging to put yourself out there and connect with others.

Positive affirmations, setting achievable goals, and celebrating personal achievements can also help build momentum and reinforce your sense of self-worth.

There are countless books, online courses, and therapy techniques aimed at improving self-confidence and assertiveness, specifically subconsciously.

Exposure therapy, in particular, can be a powerful tool for overcoming social anxiety by gradually exposing yourself to anxiety-provoking situations in a controlled manner.

Get Professional Help with Anxiety Therapy

It's essential to normalize the decision to seek therapy for social anxiety!

So if social anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapy or counselling can provide invaluable support in managing symptoms and improving your overall quality of life, all in a non-judgmental professional setting.

There are various therapeutic modalities commonly used to treat social anxiety, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, and mindfulness-based interventions.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I tell the difference between being shy vs. having social anxiety?

 While both shyness and social anxiety involve discomfort in social situations, there are key distinctions between the two. Shyness is a personality trait characterized by feelings of nervousness or timidity in social settings, often accompanied by avoidance of social situations.

Social anxiety, on the other hand, is a mental health condition characterized by intense fear or anxiety in social situations, often accompanied by physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, or rapid heartbeat. Unlike shyness, social anxiety can significantly impact daily functioning and may persist even with exposure to familiar social settings.

How can I tell the difference between being an introvert vs. having social anxiety?

Similarly, introversion is a personality trait characterized by a preference for solitude or quiet environments, while social anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by fear or anxiety in social situations, regardless of one's preference for solitude or social interaction.

Is there a connection between ADHD and social anxiety?

Individuals with ADHD may be at increased risk for developing social anxiety, possibly due to challenges with executive functioning, social skills deficits, or difficulties in regulating attention and impulses.

Additionally, the chronic stress and frustration associated with managing ADHD symptoms may exacerbate feelings of anxiety in social situations.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey. With the right support and guidance, you can learn how to make friends when you have social anxiety and cultivate meaningful connections with others. Book a free consultation with Access Therapy today and get started on your journey towards emotional healing today!