It starts with a single thought. Innocuous enough. But it builds, it starts to trigger other thoughts, conversations you’ve had, things you’ve done in the past and future stresses you are anticipating. Before you know it, it’s a full on spiral of really grand and typically fear-based thinking that consumes us. Ugh. Another night of tossing and turning as these thoughts hijack your mind. A mind that would benefit from getting a solid bout of restful and restorative sleep.

Why is anxiety so much worse at night?

Pretty simply, your brain has nothing else to do. During the day, the anxiety might still be there but it’s muffled by the hustle and bustle of your daily life. There is work to do, families to care for, errands to run, and these thoughts build. 

But then at night, it’s finally your brain’s turn to be fully heard. It can feel so loud against the backdrop of the dark and quiet night that it feels like it’s yelling through a megaphone. 

“WHY DID YOU SAY THAT THING TO KAREN LIKE THAT?!”

“THAT PROJECT IS DUE SO SOON AND YOU’VE BARELY MADE ANY PROGRESS ON IT!!”

“ONE OF THESE DAYS SOMEONE IS GOING TO REALIZE HOW MUCH OF AN IMPOSTER YOU ARE!!”   

Whether you identify it as an anxious thought spiral or a build up of stress, it ruins your sleep.

But what can be done about it?

There are lots of strategies that we employ in therapy for teasing apart the anxiety, for taking back control from that little voice, for developing new strategies to deal with that unrelenting voice. But in the quiet of the night, when the anxiety is working the night shift, we have found that some tangible tools and tips have made big impacts for our clients.

Not all of it will work for you, but maybe something just might. It’s worth giving new strategies a try because the alternative sure sounds overwhelming and unwanted.  

Sleep hygiene

Oh yeah, you’ve probably heard it before, maybe even hundreds of times. But there is a reason that this is the #1 most highly recommended sleep improvement strategy, it’s important and it works. Sleep hygiene are any habits that set you up for getting a consistent and restful night of sleep. There are multiple pieces to this recommendation so if you find yourself only able to apply one thing at a time, then that’s a great start!

• Set a schedule; start a wind down routine at a specific time and get to bed consistently at the same time every night 

• Build a wind down routine; choose some activity that signals to your body that it’s time to relax. Choose something that’s screen-free like journaling, having a cup of herbal tea, applying lotion, an evening shower or whatever speaks most to you

• Avoid alcohol, caffeine and exercise right before bed; exercises is great for sleep but not right before bed because it stimulates really energizing hormones in the body. Same sort of idea with caffeine. You may have heard that alcohol is a depressant which would seem to be the perfect pre-bed beverage but the link between alcohol and poor sleep is strong, and only getting stronger with time. In the long run it’s not a good strategy.  

• Try digital detox; ok, we know this can be a tough one. But, the blue light of the screen and the mental stimulation activates our brains and gets in the way of our natural production of melatonin which helps us fall asleep. Just an hour of tech-free time before bed, and it will likely make a noticeable impact on your sleep readiness.

• Turn on dim lighting; this promotes natural melatonin production/  

‘Brain Dump’ Journal

Ok well not everyone calls it a ‘brain dump’ journal but we do! It’s just a notebook or even your phone at the bedside where you can write down those thoughts and ideas that you are ruminating over. Some of those ideas feel important, or thinking through some problem likely feels necessary, but not at night. Use this journal as a contract with yourself that you will give that idea or problem the necessary amount of attention, just in the light of day when it doesn’t interfere with our wellbeing

Reframing the thought 

Nighttime thoughts can feel overwhelming and scary and absolutely necessary to deal with in the moment. But are they really? Will the world fall apart if you don’t dissect that conversation or spend hours worrying about that project? Not likely. Actually you’re likely better off not thinking about it, but how? This is where reframing can be helpful. It’s like taking the wind out of the sails of the thought spiral. There are some simple questions you can ask yourself to reframe the thought. Next time try some of these and see what happens to the thought. Be curious, it’s an experiment. 

• How will I feel about this in a month?

• How will I feel about this in a year?

• What would I tell a friend if they had this thought?

• Am I confusing a thought with a fact?

Get your mind off of it

If none of the above strategies work, sometimes we need to just busy the mind and that’s ok too. During times of particularly high stress or anxiety, the strategies that once worked might not be enough to break the spiral. In these moments, distraction could be necessary so that you can actually fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. You can try reading, getting up and using the washroom, throwing on a relaxing podcast/sleep story, or meditating. Meditation is less of a distraction than the others but is listed here because it’s an active way to focus on something else. To move away from the anxious thoughts. 

These 4 strategies can be filtered, practiced and refined for your own specific needs and capabilities.

But, these are methods of coping with the nighttime anxiety as it arises. Ideally, you will also be working on getting to the root of these beliefs, rewriting the narrative and relating to your thoughts in a different way with time. 

If that deeper work interests you, you can contact us with questions or book a FREE consultation.  We’ll get to know you and your needs in therapy and then pair you with the right therapist on our team. 

Read more about anxiety therapy.