The term "para alcoholic" might not be as well-known as alcoholism, but it's just as important to understand.

What is a Para Alcoholic?

A para alcoholic is someone who may not necessarily have a dependency on alcohol themselves, but they exhibit behaviours and patterns similar to those of someone who does.

A para alcoholic can be thought of as someone deeply affected by another's alcoholism, often adapting their behaviour and life around managing or coping with the impact of that alcoholism. This might include denying there's a problem, making excuses for the alcoholic, or even adopting manipulative behaviours to maintain peace in the household.

A para alcoholic might take on the role of a caretaker to an alcoholic, constantly managing crises or covering up issues, which can be emotionally draining.

This term helps us recognize that the effects of alcoholism can extend beyond the individual who drinks to those around them.

Characteristics

The characteristics of para alcoholism vary widely, but they often share some common patterns. Many have high levels of anxiety, feel a need to control their environment, or have difficulty establishing healthy boundaries.

Qualified therapists and counsellors will look for signs like excessive stress, anxiety, or behaviours that mimic those of someone with an alcohol dependency, even if the individual does not drink alcohol themselves.

Differences Between Para Alcoholics and Alcoholics

The health implications for para-alcoholics might not be as directly tied to substance abuse as they are for alcoholics, but they can be just as severe. Emotional and psychological stress, for instance, can lead to long-term health problems like depression and anxiety.

The treatment for para-alcoholics also differs. It often focuses more on psychological support, learning healthy boundaries, and coping strategies rather than the detoxification and abstinence required for alcoholics.

Causes of Para Alcoholism

Para alcoholism doesn't just appear out of nowhere; it's the result of a complex mix of different factors that interplay with each other.

Genetic Predispositions

Research suggests that some people might be more susceptible to developing alcoholic behaviours due to their genetic makeup. But what about para-alcoholism?

Behaviour similarities might suggest that if a parent or family member is a para-alcoholic, attracting alcoholics into their lives, you might be predisposed to do the same because of having similar characteristics and behaviours.

Environmental Influences

Growing up in a household where alcohol misuse is prevalent can teach behaviours that seem normal but are actually harmful coping mechanisms.

Minimizing the problem, hiding feelings, or even taking on too much responsibility from a young age are all common signs.

Stressful environments, such as those where family conflicts are common or where there's a lack of emotional support, can also push someone toward para-alcoholic behaviours. It’s like being in a constant state of alert, trying to keep everything from falling apart.

Take a child who sees their parent constantly covering up for an alcoholic family member. They will likely mirror the behaviour if they don’t learn any other way.

These learned behaviors can become deeply ingrained, even outside the family setting, affecting relationships and personal development.

Treatment and Management of Para Alcoholism

Emotional and Psychological

Para alcoholics often face emotional and psychological challenges that can be as severe as those experienced by alcoholics themselves.

So, how can you get help if you feel like you’re struggling? Techniques like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one tool that’s particularly effective.

This therapeutic framework helps individuals recognize and change harmful thought patterns and behaviours, which is essential for someone coping with the indirect effects of alcoholism in their family or close relationships.

Finding a therapist or counsellor can play a huge role in helping diagnose and manage the emotional disturbances that accompany para-alcoholic behaviours. It can also help you learn stress management techniques, establish healthy boundaries, and find positive outlets for emotions.

The most important part? This is all done in a non-judgmental space, so you can learn and grow in an environment you trust.

Impact on Individuals and Families

As we now know, para-alcoholism doesn't just affect the individual; it can ripple out to touch every aspect of their life including their health, work, and social interactions.

Families feel this impact acutely. The dynamics within a family can be significantly strained by the behaviours and coping mechanisms of a para-alcoholic. Your relationship with your parents, siblings, and even children can suffer if you don’t get the help you need.

This can lead to households filled with tension and misunderstanding. Plus, this situation often perpetuates a cycle where emotional scars and behavioural patterns are passed down to the next generation.

This is why it’s so important to get professional help if you feel you identify with being a para-alcoholic.

Emotional and Psychological Effects

Living close to or with a para-alcoholic can take a serious psychological toll. Individuals in these environments often experience heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and stress.

The emotional environment can be volatile, with feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation becoming commonplace for both the para-alcoholic and their family members.

These feelings can fuel a cycle of emotional turmoil, where negative feelings and behaviours reinforce each other. Understanding and breaking this cycle is crucial to improving the emotional health of everyone involved.

Social and Relational Consequences

The social and relational consequences of para-alcoholism can be severe. Maybe you’ve seen that you’ve been retracting from your social circles because of stress. Eventually, you might even feel like you’re isolated or don’t have supportive relationships in your life.

While family therapy and other relational interventions is, of course, a great method to use for this, it’s not always realistic. Some family members — maybe even the alcoholic at hand — won’t think they need to go.

This doesn’t mean that therapy wouldn’t work for you, but rather that you might simply need to find 1:1 counselling instead.

Treatment and Management: Groups & Therapy

Each person's situation is unique, and so are the factors contributing to their behaviours and challenges.

For para alcoholics and their families, support and/or 12-step groups can provide a safe space where individuals can share experiences, offer and receive advice, and learn that they are not alone in their struggles.

Our counsellors at Access Therapy offer many therapeutic approaches tailored specifically to the needs of para-alcoholics, like anxiety therapy, trauma therapy, or couples therapy. 

Schedule your free consultation today to start on your path to healing!