Many of us navigate the complex terrain of caregiving. And out of that, some of us will find ourselves thinking “My elderly mother is consuming my life.”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for an elderly parent, wondering why your elderly mother wants constant attention, you're not alone.

As we struggle to help our sometimes difficult elderly parents, it can get in the way of us juggling our own lives. Let’s talk about what it’s like to care for elderly parents, including the hard conversations you might be having with yourself or your siblings and how to ease the burden.

Caring for an elderly parent can take a toll on your emotional well-being, from feelings of guilt to stress and exhaustion. And while many seem to say that patience is a virtue when it comes to caring for elderly parents – especially for those suffering from dementia or navigating other health issues – it doesn’t seem to alleviate much of the stress.

It's natural to feel frustrated at times, and with all of the emotional work you’re likely doing to support your mother, can even sometimes have you wondering if it’s even worth it. It’s alright to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or guilty when saying these words, but there are ways to cope (even if the tunnel seems long and never-ending).

The Truth About Caring for Elderly Parents

It’s Emotionally Taxing.

Caring for an elderly parent can take a toll on your emotional well-being, from feelings of guilt to stress and exhaustion. Top that with the existing stressors of balancing your own health, and life can be difficult. Above everything, know that your emotions are valid, and you're not alone in this journey. In fact, you ought to seek support from friends, family members, support groups, or affordable therapy options to make sure you keep your mental health in check.

Speaking with others and professionals can give you some valuable insights and coping strategies you might not have thought about if you were going at this alone.

It Requires Patience.

Patience truly is a virtue when it comes to caring for elderly parents, especially for those suffering from dementia or navigating other health issues that can elevate stress levels. It's natural to feel frustrated at times, which is why it’s even more important to have a sturdy practice in patience both in her presence and out of it.

It Can Be Physically and Financially Demanding.

From managing medical needs to driving around to helping physically with mobility and covering assisted living facilities, healthcare costs and lost income from reduced work hours can be both physically and financially taxing on you as the caregiver.

Pair that with asking “Why is my elderly mother never happy?” it can be easy to feel underappreciated with all the work you’re putting in.

My Elderly Mother is Consuming My Life

With all of the work you’re likely doing to support your elderly mother, you might still be thinking “My elderly mother is consuming my life.” It’s alright if you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or guilty when saying these words, but there are ways to cope.

Take Physical and Emotional Breaks

Caring for an elderly parent can feel like a full-time job, but remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is crucial for both you and your loved one. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and continue exercising even if you don’t feel like you have time — even if it’s just a short walk around the block.

Find Community Resources

We will continue to mention that you shouldn’t have to go through this alone! There are many resources available to provide support to you. Consider exploring social activities and educational programs at a local senior center that your mom can explore to get her out of the house and more mentally engaged, as well as adult day programs, and respite care services to offer temporary relief for you.

As for you and your relationship with you, consider group therapy or 1:1 therapy to talk about your pain points with her in an open and non-judgmental space.

Establish Boundaries and Set Them

Open and honest communication is key when it comes to establishing boundaries with your elderly parent. Remember, setting boundaries is not about being mean or selfish to your mom, but about maintaining your well-being while providing the best care possible.

Communicate assertively, expressing your needs and limitations clearly and respectfully. Let your mother know what you can and cannot do, setting realistic expectations of what you can handle and not being afraid to say no when necessary.

You might even want to create a caregiving schedule that works for both you and your parent, setting limits on your time and energy — because you deserve care, too!

“Why Is My Elderly Mother So Negative?” & Other Frequently Asked Questions

Why is my elderly mother so negative?

Negativity in elderly parents can stem from health issues, cognitive decline, or past traumas may contribute to a pessimistic outlook. Additionally, external factors like loneliness, loss of independence, or changes in the environment can play a significant role in shaping mood and outlook (imagine if you had to go through what she was going through).

She might not have personality traits, coping mechanisms, or tools to stay positive, especially during more difficult times in her life.

Why is my elderly mother never happy?

Persistent unhappiness in elderly parents could indicate unmet physical or emotional needs, unresolved grief, or depression. So if you’re constantly thinking my elderly mother is never happy, it's essential to pay attention to these signs of depression and encourage your loved one to seek professional help if necessary.

Creating opportunities for social connections, engaging in meaningful activities, and fostering a sense of purpose can contribute to their overall happiness and well-being.

Why does my elderly mother want constant attention?

Your mother needing constant attention may stem from feelings of loneliness, fear of abandonment, or anxiety. Think about how much quality time she’s spending with you, friends, and family members, and whether they’re dealing with any underlying concerns or issues. Remember, you can set boundaries and still provide emotional support and reassurance to maintain a healthy parent-child relationship.

Get Support at Access Therapy

Therapy can improve communication, help cope with stress, and enhance overall well-being. Don't hesitate to reach out for a free therapy consultation when navigating the complexities of caregiving and addressing the emotional needs of your elderly parent. We would love to create a safe space for you to voice your feelings so you can get the help you deserve!